How to Make Friends as a Transfer Student
Starting at a new school when everyone else seems to already know each other can feel like showing up to a party where you’re the only one who doesn’t get the inside jokes. If you’re a transfer student wondering how to break into those established friend groups, you’re experiencing something incredibly common. And here’s the good news: you’re not starting from scratch. You’re starting with experience, perspective, and the courage it took to make this transition.
Key Takeaways
- Transfer student loneliness is common and temporary, not a reflection of your social abilities
- Repeated interactions in shared spaces matter more than perfect opening lines or being the most outgoing
- Transfer-specific programs and events connect you with others experiencing the same challenges
- Regular club meetings create natural opportunities for friendships to develop over time
- Classes and study groups can become friendship hubs through consistent, low-pressure interactions
- Research shows loneliness decreases as students progress through their time at university
- Being open about your transfer status helps others support you and make connections
- Professional support can help if anxiety or depression are making the transition particularly difficult
Looking for help from a therapist for either individual sessions or couples therapy? Serenium has 150+ therapists at multiple locations in NJ and online and accepts most insurance. View our therapists and call us at 877-575-7957 to speak with our team, learn more, or schedule your first session
Why Making Friends as a Transfer Student Feels Different
Transfer students face unique challenges when building friendships. While freshmen arrive when everyone is equally new and looking for connections, transfer students often enter when social groups have already formed. Research shows that transfer students, along with students from lower socioeconomic backgrounds, benefit most from programs that target inclusion and belonging.
Clinical social worker Danica Copp, who specializes in working with college students, explains the challenge: when you’re coming in at a time when not everybody is actively looking for friends, it makes it harder because you really have to put yourself out there. And if you’re already experiencing some anxiety, taking that first step can feel overwhelming.
But difficult doesn’t mean impossible. The same research found that interventions promoting connection actually had stronger effects for transfer students than for other groups. You might have to be more intentional than freshmen, but the friendships you build can be just as meaningful.
Understanding Transfer Shock and Loneliness
The adjustment period you’re experiencing has a name: transfer shock. Research on educational transitions shows that moving to a new environment can increase feelings of loneliness due to separation from existing social networks and the need to adapt to new social circles.
Here’s what’s important to know: loneliness among transfer students isn’t a reflection of your personality or social skills. A study of university students found that 26.4% experienced loneliness, with first-year students and those new to campus being particularly vulnerable. The research also showed that feelings of loneliness decreased as students progressed through their years at university.
What this means for you: the loneliness you’re feeling right now is temporary. It’s your brain’s way of telling you that connection matters, not a permanent state of being. Think of it as a signal, not a sentence.
The Science Behind Friendship Formation
Understanding how friendships actually form can take some pressure off. A study on social network formation found that randomized early contact opportunities between students had a strong effect on friendship development. Students who were placed in the same groups during orientation were more likely to become friends, even when they didn’t see each other again for two months.
What does this mean for you? Proximity and repeated interaction matter more than having the perfect opening line or being the most outgoing person in the room. Research tracking college students throughout their first year found that friendships typically developed before study partnerships, with students being about 16 times more likely to become study partners with a friend than with a non-friend.
The pattern is clear: show up, show up again, and keep showing up. That’s how connections deepen.
Practical Strategies for Building Friendships
Start with Transfer-Specific Programs
Many colleges offer orientations, welcome events, and even dedicated Facebook groups for transfer students. These aren’t just ice cream socials (though free dessert never hurts). They’re structured opportunities to meet people going through exactly what you’re experiencing.
Copp recommends attending any orientations or events your school offers specifically for transfer students. You’ll be connecting with others who understand the unique challenge of entering an established campus community.
Join Clubs with Regular Meetings
Research on friendship and academic performance shows that the relationship between friendships and student progress tends to receive attention during transfer periods. The key is finding spaces for repeated interaction.
Don’t just attend one-off events. Join organizations that meet regularly. A study on college friendship networks found that students form different types of networks (tight-knitters, compartmentalizers, and samplers), but all successful friendship patterns involved consistent interaction in shared spaces.
Whether it’s an academic club, an intramural sports team, a cultural organization, or a volunteer group, regular meetings create natural opportunities for conversations to deepen. You don’t have to be passionate about every activity. Sometimes just showing up and being present is enough.
Use Your Classes as Connection Points
Your classes aren’t just for learning course material. They’re also potential friendship hubs. Research shows that studying relationships emerge from friendships, with dual interpersonal relationships (both friends and study partners) being much more stable than one-dimensional relationships.
Try arriving to class a few minutes early and sitting near the same people each time. Ask a classmate about an assignment. Form a study group. These low-pressure interactions can naturally evolve into friendships, especially if you’re working on group projects together over an extended period.
Be Strategic About Where You Study
Instead of isolating yourself in your room, work in common areas like the student union, coffee shops, or the library. Repeated presence in the same spaces increases the likelihood of interaction and helps people start to recognize you.
You don’t have to force conversations every time. Sometimes just making eye contact and smiling is enough to plant the seed for future interactions.
Embrace Your Transfer Student Identity
Don’t hide the fact that you’re a transfer student. When you mention it to club leaders, classmates, or others, you’re giving them information that might help them connect you with other transfers or people who share your classes and circumstances.
Student leaders want to help new members feel welcome and grow their organizations. Your newness isn’t a disadvantage. It’s an opportunity for others to support you.
Looking for help from a therapist for either individual sessions or couples therapy? Serenium has 100+ therapists at multiple locations in NJ and online and accepts most insurance. View our therapists and call us at 877-575-7957 to speak with our team, learn more, or schedule your first session
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What the Research Says About Friendship and Well-being
Research shows that friendships in academic settings foster supportive environments, encourage collaboration and knowledge exchange, and ultimately enhance learning experiences. A study on college connectedness found that social and institutional aspects of connectedness are interlinked, influencing one another in creating an overall feeling of belonging.
What this means practically: making friends isn’t just about feeling less lonely (though that matters too). It’s connected to your academic success, your sense of belonging, and your overall well-being during this transition.
Research on international students (who face similar challenges to transfer students) found that students with a higher ratio of host country friends in their network reported being more satisfied, content, and less homesick.
When the Process Feels Slow
If you’ve been trying for a few weeks and friendships aren’t clicking yet, that’s okay. Research on educational transitions found that students often have positive expectations about friendships, but sometimes experience disappointment when reality doesn’t immediately match those expectations.
Here’s what helps: keep showing up. Friendships thrive on what researchers call “propinquity,” which is just a fancy word for repeated encounters in shared spaces. The more you interact with the same people through clubs, classes, or campus activities, the more opportunities you create for deeper bonds to form.
If you’re feeling persistently isolated or experiencing symptoms of depression alongside loneliness, reaching out for support can make a real difference. Many students find that talking with a therapist helps them navigate the emotional aspects of transition while also developing strategies for building connections. There’s no shame in getting support during a challenging time. In fact, it’s one of the most practical things you can do.
Looking for help from a therapist for either individual sessions or couples therapy? Serenium has 150+ therapists at multiple locations in NJ and online and accepts most insurance. View our therapists and call us at 877-575-7957 to speak with our team, learn more, or schedule your first session
Managing Social Media and Comparison
Research on student loneliness found that balancing the maintenance of existing relationships with the development of new relationships was both aided and challenged by social media use. While social media can help you stay connected to old friends, it can also make you feel like everyone else has their social life figured out while you’re still finding your footing.
Remember: social media shows highlight reels, not full stories. The students posting group photos might also be navigating their own friendship challenges. Your timeline is your own.
The Fresh Start Advantage
Here’s something hopeful: research on school transitions found that students who had more negative peer experiences in their previous school often enjoyed a “fresh start” in terms of peer experiences at their new school. If you had difficult social experiences at your previous institution, transferring genuinely offers an opportunity to build different kinds of relationships.
You get to decide who you want to be in this new environment. You’re not starting over. You’re starting again, with more self-knowledge than you had before.
Building Different Types of Friendships
Research identifies three common friendship network patterns among college students:
Tight-knitters have one close-knit group of friends who all know each other. This provides deep support but can feel isolating if the group fractures.
Compartmentalizers have several distinct friend groups (class friends, club friends, dorm friends) that don’t necessarily overlap. This works well until juggling multiple social worlds becomes overwhelming.
Samplers have a web of individual friendships where their friends don’t necessarily know each other. This offers flexibility but might lack the support of a closer network.
There’s no right or wrong pattern. Understanding your natural style can help you make intentional choices about how to build your social network at your new school.
The Timeline of Adjustment
Give yourself grace with the timeline. Research shows that feelings of loneliness tend to decrease as students progress through their time at university. The high incidence of loneliness among new students is likely because of their short-term residence at the university and the time needed to adapt to the new environment.
This isn’t about waiting passively for things to improve. It’s about recognizing that meaningful connections take time to build. The effort you’re putting in now is planting seeds that will grow throughout your time at this school.
When Anxiety Gets in the Way
If anxiety is making it particularly difficult to put yourself out there, you’re not alone. Research on college student loneliness found that students who frequently experience loneliness are far more likely to report symptoms of anxiety and depression.
Sometimes the most helpful step is addressing the anxiety directly. Working with a therapist who understands the unique challenges of college transitions can help you develop coping strategies that make social situations feel less overwhelming. You don’t have to navigate this alone.
Remember What You Already Know
You’ve made friends before. You did it in elementary school, middle school, high school, maybe at your previous college. The setting has changed, but you still have the social skills that helped you connect with people in the past.
Transfer students bring something valuable to their new campuses: perspective. You’ve experienced different environments, different ways of doing things. You understand what it’s like to start fresh. These aren’t disadvantages. They’re strengths.
Moving Forward
Making friends as a transfer student requires a bit more intentionality than it might have during freshman year, but it’s absolutely possible. The research is clear: students who engage with their campus community, participate in regular activities, and give themselves time to adjust tend to find their people.
Your experience might look different from the freshman who made their best friend during orientation week. That doesn’t make it less valid. Some of the strongest friendships form through consistent, repeated interactions over time rather than instant connections.
Be patient with yourself. Keep showing up. Say yes to invitations even when it feels easier to stay in your room. And remember that everyone you see who seems to have it all figured out was once exactly where you are now: new, uncertain, and hoping to find their place.
You’re not behind. You’re exactly where you need to be.
Frequently Asked Questions
How long does it take to make friends as a transfer student?
There’s no fixed timeline, but research shows that most students experience decreased loneliness as they progress through their first year. Some friendships form quickly through shared activities, while others develop gradually over a semester or more through repeated interactions. Give yourself at least one full semester to find your social rhythm at your new school.
Is it harder to make friends as a transfer student?
Transfer students face unique challenges because they’re entering when social groups have already formed, unlike freshmen who arrive when everyone is equally new. However, research shows that interventions promoting connection actually have stronger effects for transfer students. While you might need to be more intentional about seeking out opportunities, meaningful friendships are absolutely achievable.
What clubs should transfer students join?
Join clubs that genuinely interest you rather than what you think will be most popular. Research shows that friendships thrive through repeated interactions in shared spaces, so choose organizations that meet regularly and involve activities you actually enjoy. This could be academic clubs, cultural organizations, recreational sports, volunteer groups, or hobby-based clubs. Transfer student organizations are also excellent starting points.
How do you approach people as a transfer student?
Start with low-pressure interactions: arrive to class early and sit near the same people, ask about assignments, mention you’re a transfer student when joining clubs (this helps leaders connect you with others), and participate in transfer-specific events where everyone is in the same situation. You don’t need elaborate conversation starters. Simple introductions and genuine interest in others work well.
Why do I feel lonely as a transfer student?
Loneliness among transfer students is a normal response to being separated from existing social networks and adapting to a new environment. Research shows that 26.4% of university students experience loneliness, with those new to campus being particularly vulnerable. It’s your brain signaling that connection matters, not an indication that something is wrong with you. The feeling typically decreases as you build new connections over time.
Can transfer students make lifelong friends?
Absolutely. Research shows that college friendships can enhance academic success and persist after graduation. The method of meeting (as a freshman versus as a transfer) doesn’t determine friendship quality or longevity. What matters is finding people you genuinely connect with through shared interests, values, and repeated positive interactions. Many transfer students report that the friendships they made after transferring became some of their most meaningful relationships.
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